MasterCook
Over the seasons of similar shows, we've met a lot of contestants that can cook. The past winners have demonstrated an incredible versatilely in the kitchen, combining time-management and skill to prepare the best dishes possible. This season, we've decided to put our cooks to the ultimate test on a whole different level. We know North America can cook food, but this year, we ask a whole new question: Can they cook crystal meth?
In today's pilot we'll introduce the judges and see how our first contestant fairs against these experts. For those of you wondering, I'm your host Lavell Crawford
. And I'll be narrating the events alllll season long baby. Now, let's not waste any time! Time to meet the judges.
JUDGE #1: Bryan Cranston
"I learned a thing or two about making meth on set, and I'm going to put THESE contestants to the test"
JUDGE #2: Rob Ford
"I'm not confirming or denying the fact I've smoked meth, crack, or any of that sh*t before tonight. Get these f*cking cameras away from me"
Judge #3: of course, Gordon Ramsay
"It's not MasterChef or cook or anything without me and I will put these chefs to the ULTIMATE test"
And there you have it. The judges and I have travelled across the continent, from province to state, finding the best cooks. These men and women cook meth regularly on top of their regular everyday jobs. Of these hundreds of people auditioning, we're taking only a handful to form the top 16. After weeks of gruelling tasks, eventually only one will stand. This man or woman will be THIS year's MasterCook. The winner takes home 100 000 dollars, your own high quality meth lab and, the prestigious title of MasterCook. The judges have chosen 15/16 of the cooks. Will tonight's cook take that final place?
Tonight's contestant: Toronto resident Justin Bieber
Justin: Hey, you all probably know me. I figured I can do just about anything you know? This is for all my Beliebers out there. I love you all.
Lavell: Don't you think this might be a bad idea, Justin?
Justin: Na, I don't make bad decisions man, I'm perfect, I know what's good.
Lavell: Alright Justin, go in and show the judges what you've made,
Bryan: All right Justin, what have you made for us today?
Justin: Well bryan, I've put a little spin on typical meth adding some gold
Gordon: The first step in making drugs is to NEVER put metal in there, what were you thinking Justin?
Justin: Never say never.
All 3 judges: .......
Rob: What the f*ck are you waiting for? Let me try this.
Lavell: Now Justin will bring his meth to the judges and wait for the verdict.
*All three judges take turns taking hits from a meth pipe*
Bryan: Well justin, I'm impressed. This isn't Heisenberg level but it definitely gives you a rush. i think that with a bit of training you could do some damage in this competition. You have potential. It's a yes for me.
Gordon: WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS? YOU CALL THIS METH?? MY GREAT AUNT COULD MAKE BETTER METH THAN THIS BLINDFOLDED. AND SHE'S DEAD. GET OUT OF MY FACE. IT'S A NO.
Justin: Whatever dude
Rob: Honestly kid, I'm so high I don't even know what that felt like. Don't f*cking quote me on that. But since you're from Toronto, I'll say yes.
Justin: Are you from Toronto or something too?
3 Judges: ...
Justin: Thanks for beliebing in the guys
Bryan: I take back what i said, it's a no.
Lavell: And with that, Justin goes home empty-handed. NEXT WEEK, the top 16 will be completed and they officially head down to Mexico for the next round. Here, they will cook in the MasterCook lab and make meth edibles. Only one will be left standing after it's all done. This is MasterCook!
Anyway ya the rest will play out like masterchef or any other reality tv show.
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Subject: Competitions 
